HOW TO LET GO OF CONTROL AND FINALLY GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT
If you could control everything that occurred in your life, life would be so much easier right?
And you’d be so much safer?
As a recovering control freak, I know how hard it is to let go and give up your existence to something higher.
I also know that control is an illusion.
It’s not even a thing — and yet we cling to it so tightly.
But here’s the thing: You can’t mistake control for safety.
Let me explain.
How I became a control freak — and what control REALLY means
Growing up in a very volatile household where things could erupt at any given moment, I learned that if I could control everything then they wouldn’t erupt and I would be safe.
Or, if the eruption did occur and I could control the situation and calm everyone down, I was safe.
Years later, I was speaking with Gary Zukav, one of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, and I shared with him that the reason I needed to control things was so I would be safe.
He then said to me, “Control isn’t safety. It’s fear.”
Gary only believes in two choices in your life – love and fear.
And I agree with him fully.
A Course In Miracles says, “All healing is essentially the release of fear”.
I agree with that too.
When you feel like you have to control your life, you’re doing it out of fear, not love.
But nothing great can ever be created with fear.
Things can only ever be destroyed.
If you let fear control your life, you will never have the things you truly want.
However, if you relax and choose love, everything is possible.
The difference between controlling and directing life — and how to get exactly what you want
There is a big difference in controlling life and directing life.
Control is an illusion. Direction is very real.
You could sit all day long on the highest mountaintop, repeating affirmations, manifesting, praying, or meditating about creating the career of your dreams. But unless you climb down and get to that job interview or start building your business, it’s not going to happen on its own!
You can’t just sit back and wait for the Universe to call you up, telling you that dream life has arrived and it would like to schedule a time for you to take delivery of it.
It’s so important to take action in your life AND be responsible about the results you’re creating – both when it’s in alignment with what you want and especially when it isn’t.
Seek out the lessons in every experience.
Learn from your mistakes, so you can carry them with you to the next experience in your life.
Everything that happens for us is simply giving us wisdom to better handle the next stop on our journey of life.
At the same time, and I say this with LOVE, it’s egocentric to believe that we can control our lives and everything that happens to us.
Now, as I said, I’m a recovering control freak myself and there are still times when I act from a place of fear – we all do– so sometimes I still need to check in and make sure that I’m working toward what I want in live (there’s that DIRECTING and TAKING ACTION piece) without becoming too attached to how it looks in getting there (the delicate balance of TRUST and SURRENDER and choosing love).
In other words, move forward in the direction you want to go without attachment to the outcome.
I choose the What and leave the How to the Universe.
That will unfold on its own.
To wrap this up, I know that living an extraordinary life is your birthright.
You simply have to choose it.
You don’t have to know the Hows. You just have to know the What and communicate that clearly, take action, and watch the Universe meet you where you are and open doors you could never have imagined would be opened.
Sometimes, the road will twist and turn but there’s a comfort in knowing that you’ll always end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.
How to choose love over fear (and finally leave in peace)
For an amazing worksheet on how you can finally let go of all the things you are afraid of and stop trying to control everything so you can relax in the perfection that already is, check out my Face and Embrace Method Action Guide. It’s a simple 3-step guide to release your fears, stop worrying and feeling like you have to control everything, and finally feel calm and peace again in your own life.
Want More Where This Came From?
This post was written in response to an audience Q&A for the What You’re REALLY Hungry For episode, Comeback: How An Overweight Doctor Restored Her Health And You Can Too with Dr. Kyrin Dunston. If you want to listen to the entire Q&A with even more content you’ll love, click here or the button below!
To see this step-by-step process in a simple worksheet that YOU can start using immediately, make sure you download your FREE Bonus Action Guide – Face and Embrace Method: 3 Steps to Stop Being Afraid So You Can Finally Experience Peace Every Single Day!